Third Draft Finished… and outta here.

I have just finished the third draft of my screenplay. I feel a mixture of emotions that have classically indicated that this… is a pretty good draft. I've sent it to a few trusted people who will read it and hopefully comment on it – in a kind, yet useful manner. Then, I shall re-write it yet again, hopefully minor adjustments, some tonal adjustment, nothing major.

Some detailing of the emotions in completing the V3 rewrite; other writers and creators will sympathize:

Exhaustion – I guess that explains itself. However, beyond physical exhaustion, there is also the mental. This script, more than anything I've written, has dredged through things from my present and past like no other. I have exploited myself to such a degree that I feel as spent as a twenty year old Appalachian strip mine.

Fear – Fear that the script is not a diamond but rather, a turd. Either may still be in the rough, but one or the either it is. When you write an action flick that doesn't work, it's not as brutal as when you lay your heart out on paper The fear is being melodramatic, sophomoric, etc.

Excitement – It feels good. Excitement that it actually might not be a turd, but rather a diamond.

Sadness – yes, strangely there is sadness. It's a common depression most commonly called the "Post-Partem blues" Generally reserved for pregnant women, creators of other sorts are common sufferers of this malaise also.

Relief – The relief that I am, once again, through the storm. The relief that yes – I had one more story in me. Relief that I'm going to make deadlines.

SO…

Allowing myself to walk away from the computer, today I will go sailing. I haven't been on the boat in many, many months and a spirited race will do me good. I must quickly review my knot-tying abilities and put together the kit o' clothes, sun tan lotion and proper shoes. A three hour tour will be a nice respite…

Perhaps it is the script, perhaps it is this point in my life - I have been reviewing my past, sending some "hello" messages out in virtual bottles and reconnecting with some people.

Over the last several months, I have been having a wonderful e-mail correspondence with two friends from High School who found me and one from college. Reminisces quickly dispensed with, it is fun to read and write to these dear women; to hear about their family and work related woes and triumphs. They have also been so helpful in this time of transition.

In part, thanks to them, the chime announcing incoming email has taken on new and pleasant excitement. Though it's generally a sure fire stock tip or Viagra, emails from real people, from friends, are so nice, aren't they?

And today, most surreal, thought provoking and yes, I admit - heart rate quickening, I received a reply email from a person I sent an exploratory email to several days ago. I shall refer to her only as "D". She was one of the most important people in my past, leaving an indelible mark in my mind and heart. Now, fifteen years later, a lifetime later, we are communicating again for the first time. It'll be cathartic to catch up with her.

No excuses in these days of digital connectivity. If there's someone out there you've been thinking about communicating with, do it. Time is fleeting.

And now I'm sailing.

In the next issue of Stefan Avalos Tells All…

Scott Kirsner's new book,

Inventing the Movies:
Hollywood's Epic Battle Between Innovation and the Status Quo, from Thomas Edison to Steve Jobs

The Last Broadcast figures prominently into this book, which is pretty cool. I'll give a full report, but upon cursory view, it seems this could potentially become the defacto reading about what the title espouses.

俳句

Writing, rewriting.
Deadline approaches so soon.
It is almost good.

This Earthquake had a good Publicist

The news of the earthquake reminded me of something I've observed about many movie related events; festivals, premieres, etc. It seems a lot more impressive once the P.R. people have handled it than it really was.

Lest the cropped images on CNN of crumbled brick walls, huddled masses of people standing on sidewalks, burst pipes and flooding intersections create an image of havoc, even momentary, let me assuage those notions. It's all in the way the photo or video is framed. Keep that in mind if you view this slideshow from the LA TIMES to show the mayhem.

Here, 34 miles from the epicenter, the house rocked back and forth for about ten or fifteen seconds. Then it was over. Had it continued, yes it would have been quite something else. The rhythmic nature of the rocking causes a sympathetic increase in the movement of things; like the cat crossing a bridge, it would theoretically become very destructive over a bit of time. But not this time. A woman that grew up in Ca, wrote me last night, describing her earliest earthquake recollection:

Running out of the house, my little brother and I watched as the front lawn looked like someone had grabbed one corner and flicked it like a carpet, the thundering shockwaves rolling through the grass. Our precursor to the SUV, an International Harvester Travelall, was bouncing down the driveway.

When the lawn looks like someone is flicking a carpet. Hmmm… okay, then I'll be impressed.

All rocking and rolling distractions beneath me aside, my writing continues. After copious re-outlining, meta writing, head banging and hair pulling (okay there was no hair pulling), I think that the "writing" portion of the rewrite will officially commence after I post this. Hopefully it will go at a speed that is satisfactory.

The temperature continues to be perfection and I continue to be thankful.

Now, if only my replacement battery for my notebook computer had come back from China the way it was supposed to, I could sit outside and write.

More on that later.

Earthquake!

So, it was a nice shake back and forth and my friend in Sierre Madre felt the same....
I wonder where the epicenter was. This wasn't nothing.
Update: 5.8 in Chino Hills - about 34 miles east of Silver Lake.

Update: LOCAL ABC NEWS ON TOP OF THE STORY!!!

I kid you not, these are their initial, top news points.


Click on image for full size humor


ABC - letting you know what's really important.
(in case you forgot, ABC is owned by Disney corp.)

Cutting the Trapeze harnesses

I don't know what happened to me, but I feel like I was slammed with a 2x4. Muscle ache, headache, nauseated stomach, no desire to get up out of bed… EEKS.

So today, rather than berate myself and force myself up into an attempt to work, I just stayed in bed… 'til 2:30PM!! I am feeling about 80 percent better, but man it really sucked.

I went to a Royal Crown Revue show last night in Pasadena that was fantastic. A beautiful night sitting on a blanket beneath palm trees lit with little white bulbs; listening to and watching top notch players putting on a show from the Levitt Pavilion, life doesn't get much better than that.

But I think the hot dog I ate may have been the culprit to my intensely sick day.

While drifting in and out of sleep, I had a chance to ponder a couple things. One, it's not a whole lot of fun being alone and sick. There's nobody to take care of you, ask you how you're doing, be concerned; not even the sounds of someone else in the house.

Oh, well. Too bad.

Also, as I drifted in and out of sleep, I had a chance to ponder the date itself: July 25^th.
Everybody has their important anniversaries, days to remember, moments in time. July 25^th is one of them for me. It is a sad one – about as sad as they get. However the event took place many years ago and it has been many years already that I could talk about it without undue emotions raging.
My mother died on July 25^th, a long time ago -- when I was twelve. For the first years, it would be an intensely sorrowful day, but as time goes on memories are smoothed, pains lessen.

The reason that I bring my mother's death up today is because in a couple weeks, I will turn the same age my mother was when she died. In a couple months, I will be older than she ever lived to be.

Several days ago, I dragged an old photo album out of the garage and for the first time in quite a few years, looked at pictures I had taken as a child. For my tenth birthday, my requested present was an SX-70 land camera. I loved taking pictures, and as a child, I diligently wrote on the Polaroids: who, what and when these pictures were of. As I'm looking at them now, it is striking me just how young my mother was; already in these first pictures, taken in 1978, she is younger than I am now.

So, today, I feel a bit like a circus performer. In a year when a lot of safety lines have been cut and nets removed, I feel that this is somehow another harness, removed and dropped to the ground far below. These are not my choices; they are just the nature of time, continually moving forward.

I'm swinging yet further into a space that some of those I looked up to never travelled.

Yeah, it's a bit disconcerting.

So, what happened?

My cat is walking around my legs, desperately trying to get some attention – while maintaining her cat-cool-aloofness, of course. She's not the only one that hasn't gotten my attention for several weeks. I am slowly returning to the world; returning calls, doing bills, buying food, and acknowledging the weather gods with a hearty THANK YOU. This July has easily been the most pleasant July I've ever experienced in Los Angeles, or anywhere else for that matter. I was very fortunate not to have to deal with insane heat beyond the insane heat generated by the Sundance Screenwriters Lab Deadline.

People reading this blog with any kind of regularity know that I was working around the clock for the last three weeks and the emails I've received, wishing me luck and rooting for me have been too kind. Thank you all! I'm deeply touched.

So what happened? Did I do it?

Short answer:
Yes, I did it! I wrote a feature length screenplay from July 3 to July 20^th. Okay, I'm no Ed Wood but hopefully, neither is the screenplay.

Longer answer:
The screenplay is merely a first (okay, v1.7) draft. It needs a lot of work yet.

To say that writing a screenplay in seventeen days is not easy would be putting it mildly. In fact, one book about screenwriting uses the shocking, "Write a screenplay in 30 days!" title in order to entice potential readers that it has a method to do something entirely mad.

Overall, I'm not impressed by quantity, so I'm not lauding these things. I think a fair amount of time to spend on a first draft of a screenplay is two to three months.
(disclaimer: I mean a screenplay that is worth anything. A formulaic slasher can be churned out in three days)

So, how did I actually do it? I'll tell you. This may be useful for anyone who finds themselves under an intense deadline, even if only self imposed. Of course, it's common knowledge already, so most writers reading this probably do this already.

Outline, Outline, outline!

That's my biggest advice. I've learned that unless I do this, I will run into trouble. I think most writers work this way, so it's not the most insightful advice there is. But good advice always bears repeating. I'm typically a big fan of cork boards. Sticking ideas on them and moving them around – getting a nice 42 inch screen to see your story, with complete drag and drop capability, crash proof, no batteries required, and lightweight – ah, that's the stuff. In this case, I didn't really have time for the cork board – and my cork board currently has another story outline pinned to it that doesn't actually belong to me. Though I don't think it'll ever be used again, I decided not to pull the pins, as it were.

Instead, I went straight to outlining in MS Word, and kept outlining until I had the entire story figured out. Even as I neared the end, I refused to give in to the temptation of starting on the script. I've fallen victim to the "I'll figure the last scene out when I'm writing the script" before, and knew this temptation was not to be followed. In fact, even though I had an ending to the story months ago, getting it right took a couple days of thinking, walking, talking to myself, writing, erasing, repeat.

There is something very nerve wracking about holding a steady course and not shifting to the next phase, when a deadline is inexorably moving toward you. Around July 11^th, I got that last scene figured out and jumped into Final Draft and wrote the two words that signal the start: FADE IN.

I also calculated that I needed to pump out about 10 pages a day in order to make the deadline.

The first day, I wrote the entire first act. Like the day, the act was too long -- about 37 pages and it contained a lot of stuff that was tripe. But it was good to get a big jumping start. I knew that output wouldn't last, so I relished seeing that page count.

I then did two days of about fifteen pages per--getting to the point that many a screenplay dies – the dreaded middle. Getting through the middle was a process of five pages here, two pages there.

With about three days to spare, I got something that actually "weighed" the right amount; that is to say, I had a 108 page screenplay (about 21,000 words). From there, I re-wrote it to be a more cohesive piece.

Then, I read it with a friend. We spent about eight hours with it and then I got back to work for the last 30 odd hours.

And there you have it.

I didn't use any illicit drugs to stay awake.
I didn't drink Red Bull or any other energy drink.

However, I did go through 3lbs and 4 ozs. of coffee beans (which I grind to an extra, super fine talcum powder consistency for ultimate brewing delight)
That's a lot of coffee.

Enough about me for the moment.

Proof that good things occasionally happen to nice AND deserving people in this town, I want to heartily congratulate my friend Chad Damiani and his writing partner J.P. Lavin on an absolutely amazing and exciting story!

The Hollywood Reporter writes:

'Capeshooters' finds home at Warners

Bryan Singer in talks to produce the superhero project
By Steven Zeitchik and Borys Kit
July 22, 2008, 08:51 PM ET

With one comic superhero lighting up its boxoffice, Warner Bros. is trying to develop another potential comic franchise by acquiring the superhero project "Capeshooters," with Bryan Singer in negotiations to produce.

J.P. Lavin and Chad Damiani will write the screenplay, which follows two down-on-their-luck slackers who specialize in shooting videos of superheroes. They find themselves on the run when they uncover evidence that a legendary superhero actually is evil.

Read the entire story about Chad's cool day here.

Once again, Congratulations Chad and J.P. May the project GO and may it be franchised!

Ah, much more to write… but I must get back to working on my v2 of the screenplay. I can't say why, but there is no rest for Johnny quite yet.
I now have an August 15^th deadline to contend with. Thankfully, I have clay to mold now.

Foreign Levies – the DGA – do nothing, opt out, or object?

I'm running on no sleep here from the screenplay I've been working on. I have a few things of which to blog, but for now I want to put this into the ether.

This entry will be subject to editing and revisions and possible retractions. I do suggest that if this affects you, that you consult with some legal counsel.

That said, here is my opinion, based on conversations with various parties about the FOREIGN LEVY/DGA CLASS ACTION SUIT situation…
It's a topic that generates a lot of passion and I've tried to wade through it and get to the nitty gritty. Hopefully, this makes some sense.

If you're a motion director with any work that has played overseas, you may – you 'may' (they claim not to know where a lot of you are) have gotten a letter regarding a class action settlement. The fact that I'm writing this today, July 21st, the day of the actual deadline for making a stink or not -- is hopefully not closing the barn door after the cows got out.

I think not, because there are others who have been very actively involved in this and I think the whole thing will blow up. I apologize, but the Sundance deadline took precedent.

Some of you might know that I wrote an article regarding the entire foreign levies debacle.
If this entry thus far means nothing to you but you're interested in knowing what it's about, you can read the article here.

Basically, in this class action suit, you have three choices:

1. Do nothing – which means that the decision of the suit would be how your future, in regards to foreign levies goes.
   
2. Opt out – for which the deadline is… today.
   
3. Object – for which the deadline is… today.
   

   
   

   Argh
   

I will say right out – I don't think the settlement is great. There is wording that is missed, things that are NOT addressed, the deal around which the suit is based is one that was brokered by the guilds and the AMPTP. It is not the deal which really affects non guild members in regards to foreign territories.
We're affected by a different deal – the AFMA (IFTA) deal. Even if these deals are the same… they're different entities. We're talking a very specific lawsuit. The details count. Plus, since a lot of these movies are also produced by the writers and directors – the producer part of you is owed a lot of money because by someone... who?

I personally would like these issues to be addressed and answered before I accept the outcome of a class action suit - one that will cost me money already owed, as well as money in the future.

I could go on, but for now I'm just going to tell you what I have learned – first by listening to others, and then doing some due diligence with other class action suits.

It might seem that opting out is the way to go. However, it's not. This is a cut and paste explaining it (from a BELKIN class action suit)

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN OBJECTING AND OPTING OUT?

Objecting is simply telling the Court that you don't like something about the settlement. You can object only if you stay in the Class.

Opting out is telling the Court that you don't want to be part of the Class. If you opt out, you have no basis to object because the case no longer affects you.

In short, if you hope to be part of a better deal – which I sure as hell hope to be a part of :

Object.

Do not opt out.

More coming soon.

But now, I have to sleep.

Sundance Screenwriters Lab letters are coming…

The Sundance screenwriter’s lab is sending their selection/rejection emails out.

How do I know? I just got one.

Yes, I entered the Sundance Screenwriting Lab for 2009 a couple months ago. I dutifully wrote my ideas for a brand new screenplay, updated my bio, wrote and rewrote a cover letter, a synopsis and the first five pages of the theoretical screenplay. I put it all in a manila envelope with some of my hard earned money and then with a quick kiss and wish for good luck, dropped in the mailbox.

Like anything where hope hinges on a few words, where mood and spirit can be raised or dashed in an instant -- clicking on this email does make the heart skip a beat. No matter how blasé one tries to be, there is a slight nervous tingle in the index finger pushing down on the mouse button. After all, as any knowledgeable screenwriter will tell you – this is a very important competition; the kind that can theoretically change a person's life.

Does one click on the mouse assuming a, “Thanks, but no thanks” response is about to be read?
Does one go in with the attitude that “The Secret” and all the other “power of positive thinking” gurus propose?
Does one go in saying to oneself, “I don’t care. It doesn’t matter.”
Does one petition a supernatural being?


My style is the, “Eh, doesn’t really matter. Just read the damn email and get on with your life.”



CLICK.

Dear Stefan:

Congratulations! Your submission, I AM THE PRISONER, has been chosen by our selection committee for the next round of the review process. Please send your completed script to the Sundance Institute office (see address below my name) so that it is received in our offices by Monday, July 21, 2008. Also, please include your application number xxx-xxx and name on the cover page of your screenplay.

We will make final decisions for the 2009 January Screenwriters Lab by mid-December. You will be notified by December 15th via e-mail.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me via email.

Thanks again for your application; we look forward to reading the entire screenplay.

Sincerely,
Xxxxx xxxxxx

So that is what a “ray of sunshine” type of email looks like!

It also means that I now have to deliver a feature length screenplay within 19 days. Let’s see, if I estimate a page count of 110 pages (a safe number) that means having to write about 5.7 pages a day – every day.

That doesn’t include a re-write.
That doesn’t include a chance to give it to a friend for notes.
That doesn’t include much time for anything.

It’s a conscious thing these 'Sundance Powers that be' are doing. It puts writers on the spot, likely eliminating quite a few in the process.

It is a major order!

So, it looks like I have to seriously gear up, get it together and go.

I do have an outline written. I do also have the first five pages done.

I just purchased two large cans of Trader Joes House Blend Coffee. I'm ready!

Let the coffee start flowing, cancel any plans for vacation and full steam ahead.


Wish me luck!

Hey, this movie’s soundtrack sounds like…

Please join on this entry and add your own discoveries. I intend to add to it as I think of new examples – and perhaps gussy up the writing a bit too.

This is music geek stuff so it will either generate nothing, dead silence… or it may end up being something that search engines send a lot of music geeks to.

It is not uncommon to hear classical music in a movie. However, beyond identifying Beethoven or, more frequently – a Russian, like Stravinsky in a soundtrack, it is more fun to recognize a sound cue that is reminiscent of something else.

It's no accident when it happens and might be for any number of reasons.

1. The guys writing this stuff, the Williams, Korngolds, Hermanns, Newmans – they all know, (or knew) music as well as anyone and so are having musical fun with the job.
   
2. When a movie is edited, temporary music is used to demonstrate the mood and final effect desired. Frequently, to the chagrin of many composers, the director falls in love with the temp score and thus asks for, "Something that sounds just like this, but different…"
   
3. Face it, there are only so many different ways to score an ominous, or exciting, or (fill in the blank) scene – given a certain type of music. Eventually, something is going to sound like something else.
   

For people that aren't familiar with "classical music", but who did like a soundtrack score, this is a great way to get turned on to new (old) music.

I'm going to start a list with some easy ones. Please add in the comments and I'll add to the list.

Click on the links in the first example to actually hear the sections. I'll start with three easy ones.

Frequently, Gustav Holst's The Planets is used in a movie. Even though it wasn't that originally, it does make for great movie music. The following however is just a bit of a sound alike. Both scores are "original":

THE PLANETS (Mars, Bringer of War) - Gustav Holst


STAR WARS (Death Star explodes) - John Williams

1. Basket Chase from Raiders of the Lost Ark and Ballet of the Chicks from Pictures at an exhibition. I'm not picking on John Williams. He just writes so many scores in the classic style that it's inevitable his name will come up frequently. Mussorgsky is also frequently mimicked in film scores.

2. Erich Korngold "hinting at" Puccini's Tosca. I have always thought that Tosca (and most of Puccini's other operas) are the ultimate Cinematic experience. Even though they aren't cinema, the tenets of cinema are purely there. I just learned that Korngold said the same thing, which makes me happy. If one is to have a thought that is not original, it is at least nice to have it validated positively. Korngold was a serious classical composer so -- he sometimes mimicked himself! I hear hints of Puccini in a lot of what Korngold does. A specific is the Adventures of Robin Hood's "Procession sequence" and the morning mass in the first act of Tosca.
   

About Korngold, I should note - he was very (practically) a contemporary of Puccini and was called by some, "the Puccini of Austria" - so I hesitate to use the word 'mimic' with him.

I know there are some music fans/movie fans that read this so ... get to work. I want Mahler references, I want obscure stuff!

And finally - I'll end with this clip... what is this music from?
Can you picture it? Is it a Hitchcock film? or maybe a Scorsese movie?

Looping Dialogue – when it doesn’t work

With the L.A. Film Festival in full swing now and with a special connection to free passes, (thanks, B) it makes for a great escape from the HOT – HOT - HOT place that is my house. Yes, we're in a heat wave and it's brutal. There comes a point when the fact that it's a "dry heat" doesn't really matter. 105, 107… those temps are hot no matter what. Even when a person can survive, electronic equipment creaks away dangerously. The keyboard of my notebook computer is hot to the touch. The Ipod shouldn't be used in temps like this. Heck, it's even starting to approach the max storage temp of 113 for a lot of electronic equipment. What does one do in Palm Springs where it did exceed that temp if one isn't home?

I finally saw the new Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull movie last night. I'm sure enough people have seen it that I don't need to review it. It was – okay, it sufficed. I was bothered by a few things: story wise, magnetism was treated in the most ridiculous manner ever – even if you believed it within the context they set it. Surviving waterfalls effortlessly (waterfalls that make Niagara look small) was too much – even if using the Temple of Doom measuring stick. However, something more bothered me that really pulled me from the movie in the beginning, and it's something that probably hasn't been mentioned in any reviews. It's entirely a tech-geek thing, but on a subconscious level, it does affect everyone watching a movie.

Here goes.

It appeared to me that Harrison Ford's dialogue was entirely looped for the first fifteen or so minutes of the movie. Other sections were looped also, but my attention wasn't as obviously drawn to them. Here it was. It wasn't as obvious as the looping in the first Mad Max movie, but to me, still obvious.

To give a quick background for those who might not instantly know what I'm talking about, "looping", or ADR, as it is popularly called now, is when the original dialogue (that was recorded during production) is replaced. This happens for a bunch of reasons – poorly recorded, too much extraneous noise, etc. Sometimes it's done to actually change a line reading. In a controlled environment, the actors (or a voice "double") record new dialogue, matching to the lips on the screen. To do it well, not only do the lips have to match and sync up perfectly, the inflection has to match also. Additionally, we, as an audience, have come to expect a certain 'proximity' to the voice in relation to the distance the actor is from us on the screen. In other words, if the actor is way off in the distance, it would feel unnatural if it sounded like the microphone was three inches from the actor's mouth. This means that doing ADR right is as dependent upon the audio engineers as the actors.

When it's done properly, you can't tell. Most movies – especially larger movies, have looped at least 10% of the dialogue. Sometimes, especially in action movies or movies with a lot of exterior locations 90% or more of the movie has been looped.

Done right, you don't notice it. But somehow, for some reason, it wasn't done right, I noticed it, and it bothered me – pulling me out of the movie before it even got off the ground. I'm not sure I ever got back into it – and I was very aware of the fact that I was watching a movie. In other words, I never quite suspended my belief. Too bad.

And now that I've drawn your attention to it, perhaps when you see the movie, it will bother you too. Sorry.

Other quick note.

Yes, George Carlin died. That's big news and an enormous loss for the world of comedy. Don't need to comment on that much more because it's such big news and others have much better things to say and write.

Did you know that Stan Winston died? That's a major loss for the Special Effects world. Some of the larger movie moments we have collectively said WOW to were created by him and his company – the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, the morphing dude in Terminator, the list is long. It's a big loss.

For me, as I have been in a bit of a news blackout in the last week, the person I'm bummed about most is Cyd Charisse, who died last week. Rather than comment on her passing, I will break copyright law and include a youtube video. Intead of the most obvious clip, her incredible number in Singin' in the Rain - here's something different, though still similar in style: a dance number from a movie called, Party Girl.